


the water balloon trials

by lvrbot



Series: pseudo court room [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A LOT OF DIALOGUE, Attempt at Humor, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of alcohol, Swearing, established changlix and hyunchan, hyunchan is mostly just background, kind of based off that one episode of it's always sunny, written so i could fulfill some of my legally blonde dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25029913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lvrbot/pseuds/lvrbot
Summary: “No,” Felix interjects, “I refuse to be accused on baseless hearsay, I demand a retrial.”Chan walks over and hands Minho a beer, “There was no trial to begin with.”Jeongin narrows his eyes contemplatively, “Then we need to change that, don’t we?”or Changbin gets hit with a water balloon and the gang tries to figure out who did it
Relationships: Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Series: pseudo court room [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832830
Comments: 19
Kudos: 72





	the water balloon trials

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so this is actually a small part of something much larger that i'm writing but i liked how it turned out so i wanted to post it! that being said, this can be read entirely on it's own so don't worry! enjoy!

chat: the lads (8)

changbin: y’all wna party tmrw?

chan: idk i don’t rly want to go out 

jeongin: yeah we know you don’t grandpa

felix: we were thinking of just doing smth in the backyard  
felix: like buying a bunch of alcohol and water balloons and maybe a slip n slide??  
felix: to celebrate our last week in aussie land

minho: actually that sounds fun

seungmin: why can’t you ever just say everything in one message

felix: bc i’m gay

jisung: hehe gay

changbin: ok then, lix and i will go shopping tonight!

hyunjin: y’all need help?

felix: nah, we got it  
felix: just show up tmrw ready for fun :p

\---

The next day the house buzzes with activity, each person doing their part to contribute to their later plans. Changbin is excited, after a long comeback period, and then promotions for their reality show, and then a series of magazine spreads, having the opportunity to relax with his friends was just what they all needed. 

With the added benefit of being able to travel to Australia and use Felix’s beach side mansion, there was nothing that could ruin the day ahead. 

Changbin is just wrapping up his task of cutting up a couple watermelons when Felix comes inside to tell him to get a move on. 

“Are Hyunjin and Chan still in the bathroom?” He asks, waiting for Changbin to find his sandals.

Changbin shudders as he walks out the door, “Yeah, I haven’t seen them walk out yet.” He moves to say more, but is cut off by a water balloon bursting against his side. 

“Son of a bitch!” he shouts, tugging his wet shirt off of his body, “This isn’t meant to get wet!” 

As Changbin scrambles to lay his shirt out in the sun to dry, everyone around him continues to laugh. He pouts his way to the seating area, only slightly mollified when his boyfriend sits in his lap and kisses his cheek. 

“I’m sorry for laughing honey,” Felix says, “your face was just so funny I couldn’t control it.”

“Oh, you couldn’t control it,” Changbin nods, looking over to where Jisung was filling in Chan and Hyunjin on what just happened, “that makes me feel better.”

Jeongin rolls his eyes, “Don’t be such a whiner, you were going to get wet anyways.”

“But my clothes weren’t! I swear, when I find out who hit me, I’m going to drown them. And make them pay the fifty dollars I spent on that shirt.”

Seungmin saunters over to where the members are starting to conjoin, glancing suspiciously at all of them. 

“There’s been a crime committed,” he drawls in a fake southern accent, “and none of us are leaving until the perpetrator is caught.”

—-

Thirty minutes later, no progress has been made. As it turns out, everyone was either busy or not present when Changbin was hit with the water balloon, and no one had seen any one person commit the act or holding a water balloon. 

Of course, the people came to day drink and mess around in the sun, not be pseudo interrogated about some dumb prank, so moral to find the criminal (as Seungmin insisted they were called) was quickly dropping. 

“Can we please get going soon, we have stuff to do tonight.” Felix complains, leaning against Changbin, “Binnie has been wet before, he’s fine.” 

Said boy huffs and pushes Felix off of him, “Thanks for standing by me babe.”

“No problem,” Felix smiles.

Seungmin looks between the pair and narrows his eyes. 

“Felix,” He starts, “Where were you at the time of the incident?”

Felix startles and turns to the youngest, “I walked in right after Changbin? You said hello to us both.”

Seungmin stares into the distance, turns to the others, and points directly at Felix, “It was him. Case closed.” 

There’s noises of agreement as everyone starts to get up, throwing disapproving glances at the accused. 

“Uh hold up,” Felix sputters, “I walked in behind Changbin, it’s not even possible for it to be me.”

Seungmin contemplates for a second, then shrugs, “The wet spot is on his side, so it actually is possible for it to be you.” Felix moves to argue but Seungmin continues, “Furthermore, as previously established, no one was seen with a water balloon immediately before the incident occurred. Meaning, someone had to have a hidden one with them. As soon as we finished filling the balloons up you went inside, pretty easy to hide the fact that you have a water balloon with you when you’re not even around the group.” 

Changbin stands up from where the couple were sitting, pretending to be disappointed, “I honestly thought better of you Lix.”

Minho rolls his eyes, “Great, the case was open and shut, can we please start drinking now.” 

“No,” Felix interjects, “I refuse to be accused on baseless hearsay, I demand a retrial.”

Chan walks over and hands Minho a beer, “There was no trial to begin with.”

Jeongin narrows his eyes contemplatively, “Then we need to change that, don’t we?” 

\---

Twenty minutes later, the backyard is transformed. The drinks and snacks tables have been cleared and set next to each other, two chairs behind each one. The dining table, lugged outside by Chan and Changbin under Jeongin’s orders, and a single ornate chair that sits on a pile of wood planks is placed in front of them. To the right of that sits three lawn chairs filled by Jisung, Minho, and Hyunjin. 

As Chan returns to the set up everyone stands respectfully, and once he reaches his platform and takes a seat they all follow. 

“Alright lads,” he grins, “let’s get it.” 

Jeongin raises his hand, standing when Chan motions for him to do so. 

“Gentlemen, today we gather for justice. What is a society with no justice? A bad one.”

“Okay stop,” Felix interjects and motions to where Jeongin is standing, “Why is the thirteen year old my lawyer?”

Jeongin places a hand over his heart, “Excuse me, I’m doing this for you dickweed.”

Seungmin sighs, “Your honor, they’re distracting from the sanctity of this court. Motion to have them both removed if such behavior continues.” 

“Hey, shit for brains,” Minho calls from his seat, “You can’t remove the defendant and his lawyer from the court. Then there’s no point.” 

“This isn’t a court, it’s a patio. And there’s no reason to do this shit because Changbin already knows it wasn’t me, right baby?” Felix turns to look at him and Changbin quickly looks down, pretending to paint his nails. 

Felix gasps, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Look, Seungmin made a strong case. You’re the one who came to get me, and you seemed pretty eager for me to come out.” Changbin looks apologetic, but Seungmin places a hand on his shoulder and he straightens up. 

“The defence moves to have that comment stricken from the record your honor, our arguments aren’t complete.”

Chan shrugs, “For sure.” 

Felix scoffs, “I was eager for you to come out, not because I was planning on hitting you with a water balloon minutes before our planned water balloon fight, but because I love you asshole, and I wanted to spend time with you.” Minho pretends to throw up and Felix flips him off. 

“Aw baby,” Changbin pouts, “That’s so sweet. I love you too.” 

“Fuck off,” Felix grunts, sitting back down, “Take ‘em to church Jeongin.”

Jeongin grins, “Gladly. I’d like to call our first witness, Han Jisung.” 

\---

After arguing about building a witness stand (Jeongin’s idea) or dragging a lawn chair to sit next to the judge’s bench (everyone else’s idea), the line of questioning begins. 

“Mr. Han,” Jeongin starts, “You helped my client fill the water balloons didn’t you?”

“Yeah. He kept complaining about doing it himself so Minho made me go help.”

“Did you see him place anything in his pockets? Or take anything to a secondary location?”

“Nah, I mostly just held the hose and tried to seem busy. Tying the balloons makes my fingies sore and I figured if it looked like I was doing something people wouldn’t bother me.”

“And where were you at the time of the incident?”

“I was putting water in the bucket so the balloons wouldn’t pop.”

“Cool,” Jeongin smiles and high fives Jisung, “no further questions.” 

\---

“Mr. Han,” Seungmin sighs, “it’s my understanding that you were the only one to see Felix enter the house after the balloons were filled, correct?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Great. Now Mr. Han, do you remember when Chan told you he was going to go inside for a few minutes and he would be right back?”

“Oh yeah, he was gone for like forever. I one hundred percent thought he was kidnapped but you said that wasn’t possible.”

“Do you remember what he was carrying when he walked into the house?”

“I don’t remember seeing him take anything inside.” 

“Nothing? Not one thing? His hands were completely empty?”

“Yep.” 

“Wrong. He carried Hyunjin into the house. Changbin walked in on them having sex in the bathroom. Remember? When he started screaming?”

Jisung laughs, “Oh yeah, Changbin is literally always walking in on them. Minho and I used to make bets on if they were fucking or not when Changbin would go to get them but we stopped because they always were and Minho ended up owing me like a couple thousand. Speaking of that, can we have a trial for that next? He never paid me.”

“And I never will,” Minho shouts.

“Okay,” Seungmin interjects before the two can start arguing, “no further questions.”

\---

“Exactly what has this proven,” Felix whines, “I didn’t do it, just blame someone else.”

Seungmin glares from next to Changbin, “You sound like you have a guilty conscience. If you want to confess we can stop all this.”

Felix glares right back, “Hate to break it to you bud but you seem like you have something to hide, why else would you be so prepared to blame an innocent civilian.” 

“He couldn’t have done it,” Hyunjin interrupts, “Mini Minnie was helping regular size Minnie get the drinks set up.”

“No one asked you Hyunjin,” Felix groans.

“My client has a point,” Jeongin adds, “no one did ask Hyunjin.”

Seungmin stands, “Well I’m about to. The prosecution calls for it’s first witness, Hwang Hyunjin.”

\---

“Hwang, you were in the house when the incident occurred, correct?”

“Yeah, with Chan. Didn’t you already go over this?”

Seungmin glares and makes a cut off motion at his neck.

“Did you see Felix enter the house?”

“No, we came out of the bathroom just as he was walking out of the kitchen.”

“Did you see anything in Mr. Lee’s hand as he walked out of the kitchen?”

“Actually now that you mention it yeah, he grabbed something off the counter but I didn’t see what, he put it in front of him so it wasn’t visible.” 

“Objection!” Jeongin stands.

Chan springs to attention, putting his phone away, “On what grounds?”

“Leading the witness?”

“Is that a question or an answer Yang,” Seungmin taunts.

Jeongin pretends to lunge at him, “Go fuck yourself.” 

“Nah,” Chan announces, “Jinnie’s too smart to be led.” Hyunjin smiles and blows him a kiss, causing everyone else to shudder. 

“You can’t have Hyunjin as a witness, he’s sleeping with the judge and it’s clogging his judgment.” Felix complains. 

“Literally how, I’m being fair!” Chan says.

Changbin shakes his head, “Yeah no, everyone here knows Hyunjin is definitely dumb enough to be led, you just don’t want to see it.” 

“Why is my witness being badgered and degraded by my fucking client. Hey idiot, Hyunjin is on our side.” 

Changbin makes a face, “Hyunjin is a moron who has sex in unlocked bathrooms when there are bedrooms five feet away, I don’t want him on our side.”

“I know you’re jealous,” Hyunjin sneers, “but at least my boyfriend doesn’t throw water balloons at me.” 

“Objection!” Jeongin shouts, “He can’t just say that!”

“Overruled, I think he can say whatever he wants.” 

Felix groans, “We need a new judge.” 

“Oh my god,” Seungmin grits, “No further questions. I’m done with this one.”

“I’m not talking to the dumbass while the other dumbass is the judge,” Jeongin says, “The defence calls Lee Felix to the stand.”

\---

“Mr. Lee, can you go over what you were doing immediately before and after the incident occurred?” 

“I filled up the balloons with Jisung,” he turns to said boy, “thanks for doing basically nothing by the way,” Jisung gives a thumbs up and Felix rolls his eyes in response, “and then I walked into the house to get Changbin. He went outside, I grabbed my phone off the counter and went after him, he was hit by a water balloon, and after I laughed and kissed him, we sat down at the couches.” 

“So you didn’t hit him with a water balloon?”

“No, I didn’t.” 

“No further questions.”

\---

“Mr. Lee, what is your relationship with my client?”

“He’s my boyfriend Minnie, you already know that.”

“Have you and my client ever played pranks on each other before?”

“I guess.”

“Can you give us an example of one?”

“Once Changbin put jelly on the doorknob so when I touched it my hand got all gross.” 

“And one of your pranks on Mr. Seo?”

Felix shifts, “I put a bucket of water on his door so when he opened it water spilled into the room.” 

“A prank with water? Would you say most of the pranks you pull on my client involve some kind of liquid?”

Felix clenches his jaw, “Yes.”

Seungmin smiles, “No further questions.”

\---

“Okay let’s check in,” Chan says, “raise your hand if you think Felix did it.” Everyone except Felix and Jeongin raise their hands. Felix glares at his boyfriend, staring even as his ‘lawyer’ pulls him to the side. 

“Dammit Felix, why do you have to be such an asshole to Changbin,” Jeongin runs his hands through his hair, “we’re so screwed.”

“How is this my fault? You’re literally the one who told me to do the bucket thing.” 

Jeongin holds up a hand to stop him from talking, “The semantics don’t matter. We’re missing something. There has to be something that clears your name.” 

“Is it the fact that I didn’t do it?”

“No that’s not it. There has to be something else.”

“Well, have you thought of just accusing someone else?” The two boys jump at the sound of a new voice, turning to be met with Minho’s stare.

Felix shrugs, “No one saw anything, and if we just accuse someone randomly this whole court bullshit is going to restart and take another six hours.” 

Minho tilts his head, “No one saw anything?”

“Did you?” 

“I don’t know, I’m not under oath.” Minho smiles and backs away, returning to his jury spot. 

“Do we have to call him up now?” Felix asks.

Jeongin narrows his eyes, and his grip on the beer can in his hand tightens, “Yes we do.” 

\---

“Alright,” Chan starts once they all settle into their seats once again, “who’s next?”

Jeongin stands, “The defence calls Lee Minho to the witness stand.” 

—-

“Mr. Lee,” Jeongin walks to stand in front of him, arms crossed, “where were you at the time of the incident?” 

“I was helping Seungmin get the drinks in the cooler.”

“Did you see the incident occur?”

“No, I just looked up when Changbin did that annoying screech thing.”

“Did you see anything that could implicate the guilt of my client or anyone else in the courtroom?”

“No.”

“Minho!” Jeongin whines, “You said you knew something!”

“No I didn’t, Felix asked and I said I wouldn’t answer any questions if I wasn’t under oath.”

“You made it seem like you knew something on purpose.” 

“I felt left out,” Minho shrugs, “at first I thought all this was dumb but when I wasn’t called up I felt unimportant. Like how did Hyunjin become a witness before I did?” 

Jeongin huffs, and glares, “No further questions.” He stomps back to the defence table, dropping into his seat and hunching in, pouting. 

Seungmin stands, “The prosecution has no further questions as well. I call for a recess.”

“Yeah okay,” Chan nods, “It’s now recess.” 

\---

“Am I going to be kicked out of the house or something?” Felix asks the youngest, “What exactly is the punishment for being found guilty.”

“I don’t know,” Jeongin whines from where he’s laying in the grass, “I suck as a lawyer.” 

Felix frowns, “You don’t suck Innie, you’ve done pretty good so far.”

“You didn’t even want me to be your lawyer. You said I was thirteen.”

“Well you proved me wrong!”

Jeongin furrows his eyebrows and juts out his lips, “No I didn’t, I couldn’t even figure out who did it.”

“Okay then,” Felix runs a hand through his friends hair, “let’s try and figure it out. Where was everyone?”

Jeongin sighs, “Chan and Hyunjin were inside, you and Binnie came out together, the Minnie’s were doing the drinks, I was sitting on my phone, and Jisung was putting water in the water balloon bucket.” 

“And none of that seems out of the normal?” 

Jeongin’s face scrunches as he thinks about it, and Felix can see his head bob with every name that he mouths. His eyes widen and he whips his head around to Felix. 

“I know who did it.” 

\---

“Okay, are we ready to vote?” Chan asks, “I’m pretty sure we all know who did it.”

“Actually,” Jeongin interjects, “I’d like to call another witness.” 

“Who?”

“Han Jisung.”

\---

“Mr. Han, have you ever played with water balloons before?

“Yes.” 

“How many times would you say you’ve played with water balloons?”

“I don’t know? A couple times each summer when I was a kid.”

“Mr. Han, you previously stated that when the incident occurred you were putting water into the bucket with the balloons, correct?

“Yeah.” 

“But doesn’t everyone put water in the bucket before filling the balloons? To avoid them slamming into each other and breaking?”

Jisung uncrosses his legs, recrossing them the other way, “I guess.”

“Wouldn’t someone who’s played with water balloons many times in his life know that? Wouldn’t it become the first thing they did? Unless Felix did fill up the bucket beforehand. Meaning that you weren’t there to fill it up, and Felix didn’t take a balloon with him.” 

“He’s my age, did you know that? How would you feel if your father married someone your age?”

“You, however, had the time to grab a balloon while everybody was busy didn’t you Jisung. Right before you shot your father.”

“I didn’t mean to shoot him!” Jisung cries, “I thought it was you walking through that door!” He points at Felix, and the court erupts into chaos. 

“Oh wow,” Hyunjin says, “oh wow.” 

“You fucking liar! I can’t believe you were trying to hit me with a water balloon!” 

“Jisung!” Changbin shouts, “We were ten minutes away from you being able to hit him with a water balloon anyways, what was the point!”

“Hey!” Seungmin yells, “Shut the hell up!” Everyone quiets down and the attention is shifted to him.

“Now that your theater kid shit is over, do you want to explain yourself?”

Jisung settles back into his seat and crosses his arms, “I was supposed to be the one to go get Changbin, Minho told me to, but every time I go to see Changbin alone Felix either shows up or pulls him away. And this time he just walked ahead of me and said he would just do it. So I was going to hit him with a water balloon because I knew it would annoy him. I just didn’t expect Changbin to walk out first, or that we would have a whole trial about it.” 

“Sungie,” Changbin sighs, “Why didn’t you just tell me you were feeling left out?”

Jisung shrugs, “I figured throwing a water balloon at Felix would be funnier.” 

“I’m going to kill you,” Felix glares. 

“Well,” Chan interjects, “Felix is acquitted or whatever, Jisung is guilty. Also you all suck as witnesses and lawyers.”

Seungmin scoffs, “Like you were any better at being a judge, you sat there on your phone for half of it.” 

“And yet the case was still solved.”

“Actually,” Jeongin says, pushing his way to stand in front of the oldest, “I solved the case. On my own. Because I’m the smartest member.” 

Minho gives him a look of pity and places a hand on his shoulder, “Yeah no, definitely not.” 

“Yes I am,” Jeongin argues, yanking himself out of Minho’s grip, “I dare any of you to figure out a case with no evidence.” 

“Does it matter? We figured out who did it, can we please go drink now?” Hyunjin whines. 

There’s a clamor as six of the members agree and hurry to get beverages. Only Felix and Changbin remain, each still sitting at their defence and prosecution tables. 

Changbin walks over to Felix and sits next to him. 

“Sorry I accused you of plotting to secretly throw a water balloon at me baby,” he says, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend.

Felix jerks away, not ready to forgive so easily, “Dude that’s so messed up! Why would I even lie about something so dumb? And it was your friend who was plotting to basically kill me!” 

“Seungmin really sold me! He had a lot of points, and I never would’ve expected it to be Jisung.”

“Yeah I know,” Felix huffs, “He’s your favorite.” Changbin rolls his eyes and grabs his boyfriend’s chair, pulling it closer to his own and moving so they were looking each other in the eyes.

“He could never replace you in my heart,” Changbin grins, laughing as Felix pretends to throw up, “ And he’ll never be my favorite to do this with.” The gap between them is closed as they kiss, smiles meeting in the middle. 

The moment is nice, being in a country where a lot of people didn’t know them, surrounded by their friends and being with one another. Changbin tries to soak it up as much as possible, knowing that their lives were always changing, that their days were filled with schedules and meetings and long hours, but they were together for the moment, relaxed and loved. 

They only kiss for a minute, the peaceful air around them being broken when a water balloon splats against Felix’s chest and he abruptly pulls away. 

“Yes!” Jisung yells, “Got him!”

“Jisung,” Felix shouts, standing and tossing his flip flops off, “I’m going to fucking kill you!”

**Author's Note:**

> aaaand it's over! if you've made it this far thank you for reading! i hope you liked it! comments fuel my ego so feel free to leave your thoughts!


End file.
